Friday, July 30, 2010

Lest You Think That Because I'm Civil, I Don't Know Some Killer Insults

My current top ten insults: 

#1: Pudenda!  Most have to look it up, which is the reason this is the very best of insults.  It denigrates the vocabulary of the insulted at the same time you are calling them the protruding flesh hanging from my favorite place.

#2:  CUNT:'t U.nderstand N.ormal T.hinking.  'Nuff said unless you are one, in which case what the fuck are you doing reading this blog?

#3 Asshat!  A relatively recent addition to my repetoire, I usually this is followed up with, "If you weren't wearing your ass for a hat, you might have heard what the fuck you needed to know to get out of your situation.  See also; Asshattery (As in: lots of cunts spreading their asshattery around.

#4 Cum-burping gutter whore!  Usually saved for the true CUNT whose worn their asshat for so long it's bonded to their brain and slowly starving them of any chance at a normal life (See five below)

 #5 Fucktard! Such a CUNT that even the basic human function of sexual intercourse has become retarded.

#6 Sorry, you need more than two teeth in your head to speak to me! Seriously.

#7 I don't understand you, perhaps if you took your head out of your ass?!  Especially good for mutterers, or those that prove they have three or more teeth after confrontation with #6, above.

#8 Your perceptions of my behavior have no bearing on my behavior.  In other words, your opinion means shit to me, and most other persons whose disorders don't include rank stupidity.

#9 Did you feel that? I usually accompany the question with a wide-eyed look around,  It was my courtesy leaving the room, riding the wake of your offensiveness.  Be civil, or we are done. .

#10 Feel better? Now that you've got the stupid out, could you put it back?  Please? It's making my eyes water, trying to look past it and see reason.

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