How Not to Get Writing Done

I have been reading all these pithy statements about how to get writing done so I thought, like our most excellent politicians, I would go negative and list a few ways not to write:

Eat

Sleep

Surf (Internet or waves)

Ride (Horses, bikes, partners)

Read blogs about writing

Work

Edit

Text people (It may be text, but it ain't writing)

Facebook or Twitter or whatever

Go to funerals

Talk to your agent (or try to get one)

Obsess over reviews

Drink alot (because you were obsessing over reviews)

Masturbate (either mental or physical, this ties in closely with surfing the web and obsessing over reviews, not necessarily in that order)

Talk about what you are writing

Read

Do research (I just gotta know X)

Create problems with your computer and then have to deal with them

Answer the phone

Watch TV

Go fishing

Play silly games

Go hunting

Clean something (House, pet, partner, car, computer)

Shop for word processing progam or books on writing

Attend sporting events of offspring

I am sure there are more. Please add any you have...