I make light of the madness and oddities I see every day, but this is the kind of crap I dread having happen while I work. I have only once had to go hands-on in my duties as bailiff, and that was enough.
Or this....
The things Griffin Barber thinks about when he's thinking, which is not necessarily often. And they are my thoughts and opinions, not, in any way, those of the Department I work for.