Thursday, April 1, 2010


I may now add ratcatcher to my career path, even though I have no small but vicious dog.

We have a clan of rats that like to use the the fence line between our house and the neighbor's as a highway. They have been at it since we moved in, a fact I carefully didn't make my wife aware of.

My daughter left some bird seed on the ground. The rats made a feast of it and left sign they'd been there. Then they were so foolish as to be spotted by both child and wife.

Thereafter I was told, in no uncertain terms, that the freeway was closed to rat-kind.

So last night I set the trap. Five minutes later, a little squeaker was breathing his last. Tonight I do it again. I foresee a lengthy battle with the general population of the little buggers. It's not the war I wanted to fight but it is the one I got, and the one I will win.

Rat-kind will soon be squirting the musk of fear at the very mention of my name.

It is a shame that they couldn't resist the bounty my daughter inadvertently left them. If they had, the I-Griffin through town would still be open to traffic, none of the rat-kin would have had to die, and I would not have become their nemesis, the Ratcatcher.


  1. "squirting the musk of fear"... Jesus.

  2. Oh yes, and the rats shall know their nemesis, and his name is mine! Fear my coming, rats!

  3. Just watch out for the skaven...

  4. squeekity squeek squeek, squeekity squeek squeek, squeekity squeek squeek, squeek sq-squeeek