Monday, March 1, 2010

You there, yes you!

When you don't have an internal monologue, you can really annoy and disturb others. Tonight one such was in my workplace. It went like this:

Man starts talking to himself, commenting on the processes of the court.

Ever vigilant, I said, "Sir, please stop talking to yourself. The rest of us can hear you."

"Yes. Yes Sir."

A few minutes later, he continues, now adding throat clearing and blatant twitches to the repetoire.

"When you speak out loud, it's no longer an internal monologue. Please be silent or you will be asked to leave."

He then suprised me. This past St. Valentine's day was my 10th anniversary on the job. I had thought I was beyond being caught completely flat-footed by someone's behavior. But he did it. He suprised the shit out of me by pulling a face and pouting. If it were possible to whine with an expression, he did it. I have a six year old, and I would have said it wasn't possible. Totally.

"Sir, please try not to disturb the court further with your antics."

He gets up and goes to the door, twitches, whiney faces, and all, disrupting the court with his persistent babble. He left, which was good, but then he came back, which wasn't.

When his moment arrived, and he went before the court, he then claimed that the DA had paperwork he needed to get his multiple charges dismissed. She held her ground, telling him he had retained the paperwork. He repeated his claims. She told him to check his pockets. He did. Lo an behold! The paperwork was there.

He had his cases dismissed. He left, but not before babbling repeated nonsense.

Ah, the joy.

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