On literary SF conventions:
Go. Even if they are a bit out of your comfort zone, or cost more than you'd like to pay for, just go.
Keep an open mind while you're there (Keeping your opinions on the hover-round-mounted Princess Leia to yourself.). Take it in, be sociable, if you can.
Ask polite questions of panels you attend, where appropriate. Express your appreciation to the participants on those panels, after, in an appropriate manner.
Do not be a creep. Not ever. If you have sense of humor and like to display it, make sure your employment of it cannot be seen by a reasonable person as an attack on a certain class of people.
Be prepared to spend some time at the bar and go out to dinner. Do not ask, but don't hesitate to say yes to any such invite. Be attentive and listen at such engagements. Be ready to answer questions, but don't seek to answer unanswered ones.
Why do I bring this up?
I said fourteen words to a writer at one SF convention, and it led to a world of possibilities.