THE ALMIGHTY BAG O SCHWAG!

I am really loving life these last few days. Still sick, but things are clicking along all tracks... And I'm on them.

Mind you, I couldn't figure out how to format the last post so it fucking fit in the damn spot. Also, it's been raining so much I haven't been able to ride back and forth to work, cutting into my zen time.

But then, you can't have everything, all the time, can you?

But wait, you can, when it comes in a BAG O SCHWAG!

I finally picked up my bag o'schwag from World Fantasy Con. I had left it at Borderlands Books with one of the fine folks who work there. Yes, I left it there for nearly two months! There was a method to my madness, though. I had to study, write and generally handle business in the meantime. Self-flagellating reading of other people's good stuff would have been an evil burden to bear while trying to get all my tasks accomplished...

Now, however, the exam is done and the plot-jam broken!

The bag o schwag calleth and creatith scrivening interruptis

Sometimes I feel like the universe is doing this to me, sometimes I am doing this to IT

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

How not to get beat by the police

This post is an oblique response to an incident on the US/Canada border that involved a Canadian SF writer and US Border Patrol personnel. Indeed, it is not so much in direct response to that incident as the persons who expressed their opinions on what happened. No one but the principles truly know what happened on that day, and I am certain that the truth will out when all is said and done.

My post is more in regards to the general contacts with law enforcement in the course of their day to day duties:

The worst people in the world for law enforcement to contact are people who have an awareness of their rights but an inaccurate assessment of _when_ to excercise those rights.

The street or border are not the place to stand on one's rights unless it _starts_ as an emergency matter or the person wishes to make new case law or raise public awareness by causing a confrontation.

Do not argue with the citing/arresting officer. Set your brain on record and be sure to remember what is said. Ask if you can turn on a recording device. Remember the reply. Do not tell the officer what you think is going on. Just recall, with as little emotion as possible, what is happening. Do not speculate as to why things are occurring. Certainly do not do so aloud.

All you are doing is moving the incident from the professional to the personal by stating that you think you are being pulled over based on your race, bumper sticker, car color, sexual orientation or immigration status.

If one does start a ruckus, be aware of the fact that your actions should dictate the actions of the law enforcement personnel you face: If you are six foot tall and have an angry expression on your face, repeatedly refuse to comply with orders such as ‘Get back in your car!” and outweigh/outsize the officer you have decided to argue with, prepare for a justified use of force to gain your compliance.

It will be painful, but you have moved the incident into that arena through the potential for violence you represent. Officers are not required to get hit or even be swung at before gaining compliance with a reasonable level of force. In the U.S. the standards for what is a reasonable level of force is not set by anyone but what another officer of similar training and experience would do in a similar circumstance. In other words, if you haven’t been there and done that, you are not setting the bar for excessive or reasonable force. Your opinions don’t count.

This is a case where the little man complex can get civilians into trouble. If the officer is smaller, lighter or generally not physically imposing and knows it, they can go to the force continuum much earlier than someone who outsizes/outweighs you. This is because they can be justified in using force when someone of greater stature would not be threatened by the relative size of the person contacted.

The courts are fairly well set up to deal with these situations in an environment where no one needs to raise their voice, let alone give/take a beating. Go to court and kick ass in that setting, it is generally much easier on you.

All of these guidelines that I have set forth are in relation to an officer upon first contact. If the officer shows a true inability to reason, then things are beyond the scope of this post. One must take comfort in the knowledge that the truly abusive of power rarely get away with it for long, and Karma is a bitch.

The Oral Board

Well, the second oral board examination of my career is in the bag.

I started the day with many concerns, not least of which was the ICK I have been fighting for the last week and how it might prevent me from thinking and responding clearly to the board's questions. I felt like anyone who is rung from a cold medication-induced slumber by the alarm. Clogged nostrils took some time to clear, my brain even longer. I flogged ny brain to figure out where I was, let alone what I was doing there. When I recalled I was sleeping apart in a belated attempt to avoid infecting everyone, I cursed my luck and lamented the fact that I was not healthy for the exam.

I dragged myself through my morning routine, eventually getting on the road.

Being one who has a desperate desire to never appear late to any function, I showed up two hours early. The group that was to take the exam before me went up to perform for their individual interrogators.

A few minutes later a woman who works for the county Department of Human Resources came down and asked me if I was there to take the exam. I nodded, to which she asked if I wanted to take it early.

"Sure," I replied.

I won't bore you all with the rigamarole we had to go through, but suffice to say we are read the riot act and some additional information, and then have to sign away our rights with regard to talking about he test during the testing phases ("First rule of Fight Club" and all that.) Then we get a packet that includes a fictitious officer's background and a report completed by the officer in question. There are glaring deficiencies in the report and additional ones in the officer's performance and background. We are then given a half hour to write out and plan a strategy to answer the eight questions of the board. We don't know the questions, though my study partner and I had a pretty good idea what they would be.

Well now, those of you who have slavishly read this blog will know that I had some friends over to help me with a mock board. The board was very useful in making sure we shored up our weak points and were aware of what we needed to work on. In keeping with the theory that one must train how one works, the mock board had given us sample fictitous officer's backgrounds and a report.

Long story short, my fictitious officer for the board and the one from my mock board were the exact same fucking guy! I had to bite my lip to keep from swearing at my good fortune when I read the officer's background! It was a tremendous boost to my confidence going in, knowing that I had already answered and been critiqued by some pretty impressive minds on what I should do with regard to this officer's performance.

So, I cranked out my notes and spent the half hour making sure I got everything necessary ready.

Then I go before the board, which ends up being an older white southern gentleman and an african american fellow perhaps a few years older than I.

I actually got both to smile and nod at the appropriate points in my disertation and responses to their questions. When not smiling and nodding at me, they spent the entire twenty-two minutes I hoarsely communicated my strategy for improving officer Kirkland's performance either scribbling rapidly or checking off boxes.

Long story short: I did the very best I possibly could. Now it's just a matter of whether they were as easy to please for the others they assessed (The dreaded curve) or I was sufficiently good on the day to get a stand-out score.

Again, thanks to my friends, I actually gave a hugely better impression than I would have otherwise.

I am insanely lucky in my friends.

The Ick

The ick hath struck. Last week I got the H1N1 vaccination. Now I'm running a fever and can feel the hole at the top of my throat where the cells are immolating in order to fight off infection. I am pretty sure I don't have the flu, just a nasty cold exacerbated by last week's hell-hath-frozen-over ride (Just 28 degrees before windchill and bay fog).

I must get better, and fast. Of course it had to be my throat, which I need in order to speak to the oral board this Friday.

Needless to say, I am not working tomorrow. Once done with this entry, I am taking several tylonol PMs and passing out. I will take my daughter to school tomorrow and repeat the process.

Sleep is for the weak. And I am weak, the now.

Amazing Amigos Part II

Well, just finished my mock oral board for the exam I have coming on Friday. Stressful as all get out and as useful as I could possibly hope for. I appeared relaxed, and to one of them, a bit cocky. I sure didn't feel that way.

All my previously mentioned amigos showed up as well as my friend and mentor in my own department. He added considerably to the effectiveness of the whole excercise. The lone civilian on the panel had some hugely important feedback, as I knew he would!

Train the way you fight is a military maxim, I believe. If our training was any indication, we are going to do pretty damn well on the actual day of our examination.

If men were judged solely by the quality of their friends, then I would certainly be held in higher regard than my actual merit warrants.

I thank them. I am happy to have had the opportunity to meet and join them under the various trees of our existence.

A Few of My Amazing Amigos

Well, I am on the verge of my first paid writing gig. A friend hooked me up with both an introduction and a personal vouchsafe for my ability, rather unexpectedly.

I could not be more excited, and am chomping at the bit to engage in the project. This friend offered to get me into touch with the gentleman who needs a writer out of the blue, and without my prompting him. We will call this guy, a police officer with another agency, Amazing Amigo #3.

I am also in the final preparation phase for the Sergeant's oral exam. In order to best prepare, I decided to get some amigos together to form a panel and coduct as realistic an oral board as we could create.

I wrote a gentleman I know from Black Diamond Games and several conversations we had there. I asked him to be a panelist knowing he's a Lieutenant in another department. Most of the boards we will be reviewed by will be formed of Lieutenants from outside departments. He graciously agreed. Come to find out, he teaches and was directly involved in many similar processes for his own department. Amazing Amigo #2.

Amazing Amigo #3 also arranged, at cost to his previously-alloted family time, to participate on the mock board.

Black Diamond Games has been a nexus for me in my hobby and social life, and the owner-operator, Gary, has been a touchstone since he opened his store 5 or so years ago? Amazing Amigo #4

Amazing Amigo #1 is the guy who has been playing with me for years, who put me in touch with Amazing Amigo #3, and who has been very supportive of me and is generally an amazing guy. He also set aside other obligations to help me out.

Thanks, amigos!